Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
