There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize