when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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