I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
