At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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