You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
