would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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