Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
