is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
