This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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