you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
