Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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