summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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