id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
