Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
