the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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