im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
