You smell like a Billy Joel song
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
