Only a mothe r could love this liver
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
