the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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