she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize