break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
