where am i from again
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
