so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
