this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
