Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
