You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I wear drunk well.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
