a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Someone shit on the floor
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
