i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
