Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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