we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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