I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize