Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
