Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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