its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
