the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
