bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
