people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize