I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
