I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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