Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
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It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
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I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.