dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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