I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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