There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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