Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
