I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize