i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
