You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
