The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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