Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize