why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
