3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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