If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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