I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
