We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize