My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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