So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
