he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
