There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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