I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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