Sponge bath it is.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
