Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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