Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
